Leave Me Alone Miss Police Officer
I got heckled by the police today. They told me to move my car. And I told them to just wait; they did not like that too much and the She-Bitch behind the wheel started to get visibly angry.
You see, I had good reason to tell them to hold on and leave my car where it was. While driving, my car was struck by someone trying to parallel park - apparently she could not see the five feet down to the top of my car from her throne high above the pavement. Our two front quarter panels bumped and scraped and we got briefly stuck together. Finally, we broke apart and we both double parked. I got out of my car and started to walk back to her car to see what the damage was. I figured the cops behind me would just pull in front of me and park. Instead, they parked next to me, blocking traffic and rolled down their window.
"Sir you need to move your car."
"Yeah, hold on."
I left and went back to her beast of a vehicle to check what it looked like. She was incredibly apologetic and we both walked towards my car to see what the damage was. This took about thirty-seconds and the whole time the She-Beast Police Officer is sitting next to my car in her car with the window down allowing traffic to build up behind her. I half expected her to get out and start looking things over, but then I saw that there was not enough space for her to open the door and squeeze her fat ass out of the car. (Stop wasting gas, tanky.)
"Sir, ya need to move yuh car. Yer not allowed ta double park."
"We just bumped. We’re looking at the damage."
"Why don’t ya pull ’round the corner."
"I’m looking at my car."
"Well, do ‘ah need to get out and write up a repor’?"
"I’m not sure yet. Let me get a grip on things."
I am not sure what caused my indignance - perhaps it is my anger with Rita - but it felt good to give a police officer a little bit of shit. I think I felt pretty safe with all the witnesses she had blocked up behind her, and the one beside me, and the fact that the She-Beast Police Officer could not get out of her car.
There was really no damage, and I told the officer things were fine. She drove away to look for more skateboarding teenagers to heckle, and we all parted ways. Although, now that I look back, I realize I should have probably made her write a report just to make her do something useful with her life. Not to mention that it would have probably been the smarter thing to do, but being hustled by the police I was not thinking rationally. Fucking cops.
